Sunday, January 26, 2014

The Expedition of a Dangerous Mind

Born to a well-educated and well-off couple he always considered himself a child prodigy. There was no dearth of anything in his life, almost everything he asked for was arranged. He was intelligent and it was easy to score good in studies. He made no friends and neither he liked to talk to others. He was not an introvert, he just did not like anyone. As he grew he became less and less interested in materialistic things. He never liked to ride motorbikes, watch movies, play or even go out with girls. He just loved to read books - history, psychology, autobiographies and other. He never participated in discussions that other students of his age were passionate about. He knew he was different but never expressed it to others.

In no time he was big enough to understand this defiled world, its social disorders, the various class divisions based on castes, money, power and everything. He was apathetic to these problems but wanted to know more about them. As time went by, his disgust towards this world grew more. He loathed the poor as much as he loathed the rich, loathed the higher caste as much as he loathed the lower caste. He loathed everything - his family, relatives, the so called friends. He considered normal people morons.
As years passed by, he completed his high school and got admission in an IIT. There also he liked nothing but he understood that he has to be more sociable to achieve something different and big. In his sophomore year, he read history of India after independence. He was inspired by the movements led by common men like J.P. Narayan and V.P. Singh. He never idolized these leaders, what he idolized were these movements, these uprisings. Now he was setting his eyes on the "BIG GOAL" and he reckoned that very society and the common folks he loathed, will help him to achieve it.
He started socializing more and more. First he made friends, then followers. He knew there would be many to oppose him but he also knew there will be some who will follow him. This was only to prove to himself what he can achieve.

The absurdness of his thoughts were growing more and more. After IIT he took a job in a famous steel company but soon left to pursue his "BIG GOAL". He was a smart player, he was building strong credentials that will help him later to achieve his aim. He cleared Civil services next and worked as an IRS officer for some years to build strong connections.

Now he was more focussed, the peak was far and journey difficult but it has to be difficult, else anyone could have achieved what he aimed for. Everything around him was becoming more and more mundane and vague. Though he always longed, but there was no adrenaline rush, no hunger in him. He started loathing everything more. Even the sex was without foreplay or any other games, it was just to have kids and to remind his wife, from time to time, that he was her husband.

His thoughts were guiding him. When there was noise he wished for silence, in deep silence he wished for chaos. He hated everything that was going around and he  promised himself to change it. It did not matter to him if the world was going towards progress or recess, he just wanted to change it. He knew he will require help of the same dumb people whom he loathed and they will help him. He knew it, it had occurred before and it will happen again. He knew they will help and they will follow him. People are cowards and if they feel you are stronger than them, they will follow you. He knew this principle.
He never believed in social service but began working for social causes and help the society to gain followers. He was a smart guy, he knew that but what he did not know was that a bigger  portion of his was being controlled by his mind and he was nothing but a product of his thoughts now.
And then the time came he was waiting for. A famous anti-corruption crusader began a revolution against corruption in the heartland of India i.e. Lutyens Delhi against the central government and he, due to his strong credentials, became the second in command of this revolution. The revolution was a success and he made a name for himself in no time. He never believed in the protest because he loathed the corrupt guys as much as the anti-corrupt ones. No one got a hint what he was up to, not even the anti corruption crusader. He himself knew what he was up to but he never knew what his disturbed mind is capable of doing.
Thoughts are what a man's reasons are based upon. We need to face them to be reasonable. But his thoughts were making everything mundane to him, he could  not differentiate between calliphony and cacophony, between elegance and ugliness. He was always an egocentric guy but when he turned into an egomaniac, he never knew.      
This need to face his thoughts to be reasonable was becoming difficult day by day. His thoughts turned his life into a train travelling at a constant speed, never stopping at any station, never boarding any passenger, never letting any passenger leave, just going on and on. There is only one emergency exit to this kind of train - an everlasting LUNACY, and he took it.
At this stage he was doing all that was needed for the "BIG GOAL". He knew the public is frustrated, corruption is at its zenith. A normal guy hates everything - every political party, the current system, the police, administration, even the person next to him. Give them something packed in the wrapper of hope and then you can even lead them to chaos. He just wanted to use this hatred for his "BIG GOAL".
Strengthening his resolve further, he entered politics. All he needed now was to revolt - protest on streets, get beaten up by the police, bring in the media. He knew that it is the media alone who turns a common man into a celebrity overnight and he played them well. With the help of the same people whom he loathed, he turned himself a hero among the middle class. His followers increased from hundreds to thousands to millions.
He had no hero but he was infatuated by the uprising made by a single man at the time of independence and after that. Sometimes he felt why was he not born 50 years before, but it did not matter now. His time will come and it will come fast, he knew.
His actions were not aimed at the betterment of the society or to remove evil. It was because he liked it, it got his blood pumping, gave an adrenaline rush he always craved for. He was not fooling the common people, the common people were always fools in his eyes. It was for the "BIGGER GOAL". It was not for power, or money, or even social welfare that he entered politics, it was something completely different from what a common man thinks, it was for the NIRVANA he was after.
After a very long and difficult fight, he contested in the elections and won. No one knows what his "BIG GOAL" really is, that is something which will be revealed in years to come. So sit tight people, it is the starting of a very long bumpy roller coaster ride.

P.S. - This is a work of fiction and does not  relate to any person living or dead.

Saturday, June 1, 2013


Yesterday I went to watch 'Ye Jawaani Hai Deewani'. Don't get any wrong impression. My intentions were perfectly clear - to enjoy the movie if it is good else write this blog. A third grade whiskey in a new expensive bottle may confuse a novice but not the alcoholics.   

Starting is always difficult while writing a review. Lets show some respect to elders and start with them - Madhuri Dixit. Madhuri meets Ranbir while performing an item number in the can be called GB Road of Agra. Who calls her an Item nowadays I suspect. Mr Ranbir Kapoor (Bunny) is working with some foreign journalists as an intern. He is hired to persuade the girls in the brothel to answer the journalists (how many kids you have, what about the life here etc kind of questions). In reality who hires an intern to get some answers in a brothel. For 100 INR every girl in a brothel will draw for you her full family tree, may be even her kids father. But movies are movies. Ranbir immediately gets the opportunity to be in the lead opposite to Madhuri in the item number using some random absurd senseless poetry. 

The tough part to digest is the hall in which the item number is being performed. The hall is big, there are around 50-60 side dancers and twice more the spectators. What is such a hall doing in a brothel is tough to understand. It is Agra and not Greece. Divide it into some rooms and give the side dancers and spectators some personal space, it will be fantastic for the brothel business. 

The main story begins with Naina Talwar (Deepika Padukone), a Punjabi girl with a boring life and orthodox parents. In the whole movie it is impossible to get a Punjabi touch in Deepika's role. If you cannot get into character you cannot be a good actor (though being Punjabi has nothing to do with the movie plot). Well it is  India, if you are getting something for free why work hard for it. Coming back to track Deepika after instantly realizing what a shitty life she is living decides to go on a trekking expedition to Khirsu Pass, Manali. She does the booking using Make My Trip but is not able to get a seat in the train at the end time, that's anti advertising for Make My Trip. At this moment Ranbir helps her out by saying ' she can sleep with me ' ( what a great comment to a girl whose name he do not remember, they were in same school ) The main problem is how a studious, alone, introvert girl agrees to go with a guy making vulgar comments. Cool society. Ranbir also gives the idea to  Trip Coordinator from Make My Trip to give the TC a 100 Rs note. This depicts Make My Trip also supports corruption. The dialogues are senselessly written with some cheapness and  vulgarity to make up for the humor part. At a point Naina asks Ranbir what about kids if he will never marry, he replies ' who needs to marry to have kids, we can have them right now, I also know how to make twins ' I doubt even Mr. Genghis Khan knew how to make twins. At their interaction Ranbir uses some senseless and boring tricks to get acquainted with Deepika for eg. oh aaaan  Ayesha we met in some xy's party, oho sorry Geetanjali some xy's cousin. Mr. Ranbir Kapoor if you want to make such cheap tricks please put some logic in it and use common Indian girls name like Aarti, Ankita, Swati etc.

The treks organised by Make My Trip are fantastic, I will give that to them. You have an unlimited amount of booze, some very sexy girls and a plus point is that if their sexiness competes with their dumbness the latter is the winner and who do not like beauty with no brains, you have a make up crew with you free of cost from Make My Trip so that your make up, your hairs, your clothes looks fresh and new every day.The gender ratio in Make My Trip trekking expeditions is cool too and favours girls in higher number. Really I was not able to spot guys there, it were girls all around. For all the above mentioned points I strongly recommend Make My Trip to my fellow Indian boys.

In the trek Ranbir reveals that he loves trekking, trekking is his life while he gets almost defeated in a race to a nearby peak with Deepika ( her life's first trek ). Dude you should work hark for your life. I believe the script writer wanted to write the experiences of  his trek and convert it into a movie. But he got into a wrong production house - DHARMA PRODUCTIONS. In Dharma Productions it is compulsory to add a love story, some disturbances among friends and families, some heart breaks, very expensive clothes which does not matter where you are, sexy make up which holds every time  - before sleeping and after sleeping, six to seven songs with no connection to the movie's plot and after these prerequisites the main story. And if the script writer wrote this script on purpose then he should be the one to get rogered in our national capital. 

The movie is full of boring scenes, hard to listen than to watch, even more hard is to make out their importance. There is a very pathetic scene where Ranbir, Deepika and their two friends are running from local goons in Manali. The scene is tried to be depicted as a humorous run and chase like in Tom and Jerry show but it's a big fail. Their are some dialogues with very poor philosophy integrated with them. Some double meaning cheap jokes on which only cheap people will laugh. These dialogues are given majorly to Ranbir to make it easy for the audience to guess who is the lead actor in the movie. The songs are dull with some very poor lyrics. The only good song is ' Badtameez Dil ' which is shown in the trailers and nicely choreographed  but please do not get swayed by the trailer that is only the whiskey bottle. 

At the beginning Deepika is shown a boring, dull girl who wears Kurtis and tops to neck level, wears high power spectacles. At the end of the trek she is quite confident and her specs are gone too. All thanks to Mr. Ranbeers vulgar dialogues and cheap jokes. He also gives her the power to read at night during the trek which he himself can easily do. At the last day while returning from the trek the guys wakes up from a bus and starts dancing to celebrate Holi festival. They continues dancing and singing  from the morning till night with out attending any nature or human calls. The scene is quite colorful, there is gulal (color) everywhere in the air, in road, in swimming pool, who the hell paid for all that is not shown. Also why the local public is dancing around our lead characters and giving them the central spot is unanswered. At the end of this heroic dance Deepika fells in love with Ranbir but do not express her feelings because Ranbir is going to US to study journalism on a scholarship. What does a foreign masters program has to do with expressing your love to someone I do not understand. Are dumbo Deepika keep a foreign boyfriend for showoff and a local for other physical and financial needs.

This is the end of the first part and almost the end for this blog. I am too much confused why they made the second half.  There is some sentimental drama among friends, between Deepika and Ranbir as they meet after 8 yrs. One strong change for sure is in Deepika's personality. In the second part she is much more confident, do not wear spectacles, laughs, jokes around and outrageously reveals two inches of her cleavage in almost every scene in the second part. Seeing the cleavage Ranbir also falls in love with her and understands how important is relationships, family, friends with respect to his dreamed life career. So he decides to leave the chance to host a TV show in Paris and comes to Deepika, He could have got better and different cleavages in Paris. At this point I was confused again as who is more dumb among the trekking girls and Mr. Ranbir Kapoor. 

The movie sucks big time. If we remove the fat and short guy from the movie Cocktail ( yes the same guy who converts into a superhuman when he participates in any race ) then it can win an Oscar with respect to Ye Jawaani Hai Deewani.

One word to describe the movie will be - ' BAD ' . Do not think my vocabulary is weak, its quite strong. I do not want to waste good words on a shit like this. Signing this movie was a bad decision for Ranbir. How good an actor you are, if you will shit it will smell. I do not think the direction was a problem, the dialogues are poorly written, songs are lame except one, the script was pathetic and cinematography also sucks for the movie, also they should know how to use a background in a scene to make it look real.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

The Last Voyage

It was almost time. The air was as fresh as a newly wedded bride. The front sky looked calm with light orange colour on its lower portion and white on its upper. The Sun was playing hide and seek and the clouds were assisting it to achieve its purpose. It was a beautiful sight. I believe I deserved that much.

I looked to the river flowing deep down and quickly drew away my eyes. The more I looked down the more my mind took control of my body. But I knew it was needed to be done. The valley was around 200 meters deep but it looked much more than that. The river was full of big and small boulders but it was hard to estimate the depth. I could not hear the water flowing but it appeared violent and savage.

My mind was forcing me not to do it but I was too close to back out. I knew it had to be done, it was the only option and the right thing to do. ' Keep calm and focused, It will all be over soon ', I told myself. It was a firmly made decision and backing out was not an option. I should have talked with my family but it was too late now to do it.

The wind was not fast but cold enough to make my whole body shiver. It felt like a hundred ice arrows piercing my body together. It was the cold or the fear that was dominating me I could not distinguish. Far away an eagle was circling round and round most probably closing on its prey.  I was not able to see the poor animal but could feel its fear. In an instant the deep valley looked like a huge eagle racing towards me to swallow me. ' Huh ', I thought ' The valley cannot move, It has to be me to do it ' . The air was clean and fresh still my lungs were denying it easy entry. It feels odd when each part of your body sings a different song. They were not in my control I knew that much.  My mind was shouting,  'You don't want to do it, please don't do it my friend '. 

I could feel the weight on my legs as never before. It was impossible to lift them. It looked as if the gravitation pull has increased ten folds. In my childhood I have dreamed to have wings, to fly like a bird, to fly and be one with the sky. But now my legs were resisting as if they were not my part. They have clung to the ground as a child clings to his mother's breast. But I knew it had to be done. I have to overcome the fear, and be in control of my mind and body.

The day was late but there was enough light to see down to the river. My mind was running fast trying to control me and simultaneously placing different memories and thoughts before me. ' It will not be easy ', I told myself but I knew what was needed to be done to do it. I let go of all these thoughts, let go of all the people I have loved, let go of all the moments I have ever cherished, let go of all the things I have liked, let go of all the memories I hold close to my heart. Then brought forward the pain, the grief I have ever felt, and became one with despair. This gave way to the life energy settled deep down in me, and it rose. I could feel it. This life energy from the darkest part of my heart was exactly what I needed to do it.

Now it was time. I could not hear my mind no more, I was completely blank, no thoughts, no memories. I felt nothing now, no sound, no cold. Even the eagle was gone. And then I jumped. 

The Last Resort in Nepal is in top 10 list of best places for bungee jumping in the world. It is 160 meters long with a 100 meters of free fall. It was hell of an adventure and everyone should try it at least once. Most part in the last paragraphs are bullshit. Well I like to shit, actually everybody enjoys shitting whatever time of the day it may be. There is nothing like life energy and no one can let go what I wrote that easily, it's not in our hands. Actually there is not much time to think about anything at the time of jump, it's just 1,2,3 jump. Either you jump or you don't. If you jump then you will understand what true fear is in the first 2-3 seconds. The last part was also interesting when the bungee was over and I was hanging upside down around 40 meters above the river.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

She was cold

I thought it was dawn. The sun looked like a vague golden ball hanging in a light blue coloured sea which was defying the gravitation laws hanging upside down. It was mud and water all around and very little traces of concrete road to be seen beneath it. It must have rained heavily the previous night. But how could I have known. I am a deep sleeper and my dreams are as real as dreams can be.
It was early yet I could see some figures on the pavement. As I approached I saw some men chatting at the side of the road. They had covered themselves with worn out blankets and a burning fire near them. I assumed they were homeless poor beggars. People with filled belly the previous night do not usually wake up at such a time and such cold.

I went to sneak in. There were five of them. Their faces were pale and hands weak. They had black cups near them with upper part twice as broad as the base. As I closed in I saw some round shaped metal coins in it. The light was still too dim to count how much was in there. I sat near the fire for sometime. One of them gave me a disgusted look, the other four took no notice of me as if I was not there. They did not ask even for money or food from me. That made me curious. After 5-10 minutes I went down the side alley.
There were more beggars on the other side. Walking down the other side of the road I felt a slight pain in my front leg. May be I was too perplexed that it did not incur to me before. I was sure it was completely a new place to me. As I moved I saw more burning wood and people shivering but I was not feeling the same cold. As I looked up in the sky, it was a beautiful sight and it had covered most part of the northern sky. It was as if a very big multicoloured  star had moved from its place in the sky and left its coloured trajectory behind it.    

As I moved on I saw more people here and there, old, young, weak, kids and other. Some were talking about the cold, some about rain last night, some about something other. I could hear them all, even the distant ones, I could even hear them breathe the cold chilly air as it went inside their lungs and came out as white as snow. Was I high on weed I could not tell. I should not be hearing all that stuff. The blood was racing up my brain to lubricate it but it was not working normal. I was in a dilemma. I could not say where I was. I could not recall how I arrived in that area. I tried hard but it was not coming to me.
Then in a sudden instant it came, the cold scent, the frail sobbing voice, but no one around seemed distracted. Maybe they had not heard it. The smell intrigued as well as frightened me. The hairs on my neck stood straight up. The scent and voice were vague but call it instinct or whatever I knew what it was. It was the scent of death.
I sniffed my way towards the scent and ran. I ran fast, faster, the fastest I have ever known I was capable of. When  did I learn to run so fast I could not remember.
It took around a minute before I reached the source. I saw figures on the footpath. As I closed in, a man was lying on the ground and people were sitting and standing around him. A women in mid 20’s was sitting near the upper part of the lying man, sobbing and cursing. I could easily hear her. She was cursing her gods that they did not save her husband from the white witch. She was telling other people that the white witch killed her husband.
She told them that the white witch was after her husband for many days. Her husband has seen her often in the area. The dead body of her husband was pale and white as ice, the lips turned a little blue, cheeks shrank and wrinkles could be seen in infinity in the pale skin. The area  around the eyes had turned dark and little and the eyes looked as they have bulged out from their sockets. It was a grievous death I concluded. Could it be the work of a witch I wondered but whatever she was, she was cold.
Now more men came in and women started to cry and support the dead man’s wife. The wife told them that the witch was still there somewhere, smiling and content with her prey for now but she will not stop and more will be dead soon. The husband and herself were successful in evading her for many nights but last night her husband yielded to the white witch. She told that the witch never left them. She was all around and her power increases at night as the dark spreads. Her husband had seen her smiling with a crooked teeth many times, going near him, around him and through him. She would give him shivers. Her husband often told her that the dark was a companion of the witch and they should be watchful at night. Could her story be true. Could such a terrible force exist I thought, but whatever she was, she was cruel.
The wife started cursing the gods even more and now she had started cursing other people that no one came to help them. What homeless people would have done against such a mighty force I could not understand. She was crying and speaking at the same time. It was not clear but still I was able to understand some part of it. Her husband and she had evaded the white witch using fire. The witch was afraid of fire her husband had said. The witch had many weapons and many companions and the only armour the deceased had was a worn out blanket and only weapon was the burning wood but still they fought against such a dreadful power until last night when it rained. The white witch called her companion. It rained heavily and it increased her power. The rain took their weapon, the burning fire, from them and then took her husband’s life. I thought  rain was considered as a god. Why would it help a merciless witch? The wife was crying that she will kill her too and many more till she sleeps. Then at last it came to me what she was. She was cold, she was winter.
The wife’s face was pale and tears had now dried leaving dark traces on her pale face. I do not know why but I felt a guilt about her dead husband. Her cries now were unbearable but still I could not move and then I heard a weak sound slowly becoming strong and moving close. The sound made my mind cloudy and then I woke up.
Now to see the situation rationally, many homeless people die due to cold in north India.  Around 78 million homeless people are ill equipped to face the cold weather conditions. The death toll last year was 140 and we boast India is growing and call ourselves a developing nation. These deaths can be prevented therefore stop fucking your money on Salman Khan movies and distribute some blankets to the homeless on your birthdays and don’t wait for the Indian government. Their blankets will take many years to reach to the needful ones.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


Yesterday I discovered that another of my friend has quit his job. It has been six months since we passed  from our college and it was my third friend to do so.

People change and try different jobs, its not something new but leaving a job with a  handsome salary package without the guarantee of another job is not sensible. At first I thought so but after a discussion about the extravagant accomplishment of my friends my views regarding their quitting changed. I am not a gullible person but still I saw sense in their doing.

Lack of challenging work or too much dull work, boring environment, dumb colleagues, these are some reasons which can make a job suck but the main reason they gave me was frustration. For many people these kind of jobs are dream job in India with an average salary package of 40k-50k per month but still they left it. After talking to each of them I discovered the more sensible reason to it,  people just cannot belong to a place where they do not belong. The main reason was they deserve more compared to what their jobs offered. The main reason was they were smarter compared to what their jobs asked for. The main reason was the lack of feel good factor while working.

Their reasons are valid, it's really tough when you are around people whose thinking don’t match with yours, who do not share your sense of humor, whose jokes make you cry, who seriously predicts about "BIGG BOSS" next episode in groups at office hrs and you cannot avoid listening. Now to give it a thought these all problem are existing because they are not happy or because they are not as dumb as it is required to be happy . To be more precise it would be right enough to say that to be happy one should put more weight on the dumber character of your life see-saw.

Being dumb has many advantages as compared to being smart. You should note here dumb and smart are not necessarily related to your educational qualification or your brilliance in academics.

Now lets talk why is it not tough for dumbers to be happy. First off all dumb people lack the resources to identify the aim and problem of life. Life is too subtle for them to understand and therefore they are happy where ever they are. The lesser the desires that need to be  fulfilled the more you are happier. It is tough for dumb people to think more, and less you think the less you desire.

When dreams shatter we get depressed but what if we do not dream those specific dreams that have a potential to get shattered, or lets say we confine our dreams, we restrict our dreams. It is said dreams are like water colorless and dangerous, free flowing and we cannot control them. It's true, though we can confine it, that is where the geniusness of a dumb character comes to play. Suppose you don’t have ever known that airplanes existed, never seen never heard, in such a scenario do you think there is slightest of probability you can dream about an airplane, no you cannot. We cannot dream about something that is not in our mind. Same is the case with dumb people they don’t know much to desire more,  therefore they are content and happy. Do not take these statements in a negative sense, it is always good to dream, I just want to prove here not dreaming what you do not know is also always good.
Now lets talk about the other advantages of dumbers over real smart people besides being happy. First  is dumb people are never taken seriously whatever they say or do and normally other people consider them to be in a ‘ NO THREAT ZONE ‘. They take them too dumb to create risk for anybody. Dumb people can enjoy in the company of both other dumb and smart people though vice versa is not true. Even if they don’t understand the discussion among smart people, it always brings a feel good factor  to be a part of discussion that goes dodging to your brain capacity. Dumb people can laugh almost at any joke, if its a less witty joke than you can laugh whole heartedly and if it is a good joke than its ROFLMAO for you. By chance if  you don’t get  the joke than its a brainstorming exercise for you. If you are dumb you can easily enjoy almost all Bollywood movies except by Mr Ram Gopal Verma (he is completely on a different level).
Dumbers has some real rewarding advantages also. Girls normally prefer dumb guys as their boyfriends or spouses. The are some reasons, first intellectually girls find dumb men at the same level as themselves, they prefer to be in the lead and dominating role in the relationship and lastly if they wish to go flinging around with other men its easier with a dumb partner at their side.
Parents also love their dumber children more, though they don’t show it in public , but its the truth. Have you ever heard 'that dumb guy made a life' its always 'that smart guy made his life'. Dumb guys life is made by their fathers. The main reason is dumb people actually never mature and parents want their children to always be their 'children'. Dumb people are never bored, their mind are always busy with something as there is so much to understand and their pace of understanding is slow.
Now at the end I would like to give some tips on how to become DUMB.

1. Start watching movies made by Shirish Kunder (most effective will be Tees Maar Khan and Joker).
2. Make Raghu Ram (the bald guy from Roadies) your ideal in life.
3. Make yourself believe that you like Twilight Saga.
4. Start playing FB games like city ville and farm ville.
5. Read this blog frequently, it will keep your passion to become or remain dumb always blazing

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

For the love of Sharukh Khan

This is my first blog that I wish to make public. I was always confused for the first one but let this be it. Yesterday I went to watch Jab Tak Hai Jaan with my friends. Normally I watch the kind of movies that can prove fatal to your reputation as a movie lover or that contains an element named ‘Sharukh Khan’  alone. By the way I am a decent fan of Sharukh and I was a fan of Anushka Sharma till yesterday.  The theater was 80% occupied regards to the gigantic population of India and its really a very difficult task for movie makers to make their movies flop at Indian box office.
The genre of the movie is romantic drama but it was difficult and exhausting to find that part and it was even harder to find the humor that some individuals with higher SOH (sense of humor) content can explore in these kind of movies like in RA – 1.

The movie sucks is not the main concern of jab tak hai jahan that is something what bollywood movies normally do, its about the repulsiveness of the movie, the willingness to stand up from your theater seat and run to save your sanity and the great sensitive and innovative thinking of the makers.

In his early life ie. around 25 yrs Sharukh is a waiter cum street snow remover cum musician that sings and works hard for money and Katrina is a daughter of big business tycoon in London with a high attitude as shown in early stages. The normal part is they fall in love, a rich girl and poor boy that is common but how and why they fall in love is difficult to understand. Well you cannot reason in love that backs it up. Katrina is shown a confident and rich girl who hates Indian guys as a marriage material and later falls for Sharukh who initially can not even speak English properly.  Even though he is poor the clothes he wears are expensive  its quite easy to tell by the looks of them. The movie concept is based on the great love chemistry between these two but the makers should have narrated it  than to try to show. It is like the good old stories  our grandmother used to tell that we could hear and in the end consider it a fake. In the movie Katrina has split personality disorder which Sharukh reveals to her, and she is able to control it easily. He gives the other part that is much hornier the name ‘Teena’ so that she can easily falls in love with a loser like him. Its hard to distinguish who is more dumb Meera or Teena.

There is a character named ‘ Sir Jesus’ that plays the villain efficiently and all the dull twist and turnsin the movie are provided by him. Meera(Katrina Kaif)  plays a Hindu character, even his father and mother are Hindu but she prefers to go to this ‘Sir Jesus’ instead of  ‘Sir Vishnu' Or 'Sir shiva’ etc , we got many god and goddesses to choose from.

Now this sir Jesus indirectly tells her if she intends to have physical relation with him he will die. Hugging , cheek kisses are chill according to sir Jesus anything more is not acceptable. There are some scenes in the second half where she tells him to control himself when he tries to get more intimate  while wearing the kind of night gown where its almost impossible  for any man to contain his sexual urges, may be she is too naive to understand this in the movie. She leaves Sharukh for his sake. Hurt from so intense loss financially and physically Sharukh swore revenge against sir Jesus and vows to make the dumb girl believe that sir Jesus is fake and than he returns to india.

In India the indian army is waiting for him to join them at the age of more than 25. Normally Indian army has an age criteria and 25 + is way above it and therefore by some miracle Sharukh gets selected in the bomb defusing squad of the Indian army and he is also free  to keep long hear and beard in the army. Well these are very small mistakes and can be left.

If we leave the so called romantic part of Sharukh with Katrina he is always in the vicinity of bombs and diffuses them without wearing any protective dress. Actually he wants to prove to Katrina that even away from her does not make him immortal. There are easier ways to die but he as a hero chooses the most difficult one. Even so he does not die in around 96 attempts at the beginning and 108 till the movie ends of successful bomb diffusion and becomes famous as ‘The man who cannot die’. After getting tired of saving Indian land from bombs he decides to save London also and he succeeds.

How can a man who knows very little English and was a waiter becomes an army major with exceptional bomb diffusing talent is not shown in the movie. Later it is revealed that he is also an extraordinary electronics engineer when he repairs a very expensive camera of Akira (Anushka Sharma), a documentary maker which I am sure she is not able to use. Her hobbies are to make non-human faces while dancing, abusing and wearing shorts 1/20 of her legs in Ladakh region. She comes across Sharukh in a situation where she is drowning , as she makes a sexy dive from a stone in the middle of the lake into the water. How she reached the middle stones is not shown neither any boat or any other help. Later it is revealed she is a National level swimmer and state level tennis player.

Anushka looks more dumb than any bollywood heroine ever. She also falls in for Sharukh as she tells him that she is a new generation  girl who loves to fuck first and love later.Where is this generation Indian boys should search. There are some accidents in the movie that can create controversies. A doctor who’s way of treatment is innovative and requires the help of Katrina. Anushka ask her to help her and she agrees. In the end Sharukh defeats sir Jesus and there too diffusing 2 deadly bombs back to back.
Katrina looks good and her acting is better than Sharukh and Anuska (I want to write it in a positive way). Music is decent. Sets are good. Everything else is big shit.