Sunday, January 26, 2014

The Expedition of a Dangerous Mind

Born to a well-educated and well-off couple he always considered himself a child prodigy. There was no dearth of anything in his life, almost everything he asked for was arranged. He was intelligent and it was easy to score good in studies. He made no friends and he never liked to socialize. He was not an introvert, he just did not like anyone. As he grew he became less and less interested in materialistic things. He never liked to ride motorbikes, watch movies, play or even go out with girls. He just loved to read books - history, psychology, autobiographies and others. He never participated in discussions that other students of his age were passionate about. He knew he was different but never expressed it to others.

In no time he was big enough to understand this defiled world, its social disorders, the various class divisions based on castes, religion, money, and power. He was apathetic to these problems but wanted to know more about them. With age his disgust towards this world grew more. He loathed the poor as much as he loathed the rich, loathed the higher caste as much as he loathed the lower caste. He loathed everything - his family, relatives, and the so called friends. He considered normal people dead weight on this world.
     
As years passed, he completed his high school and got admission in an IIT. Even there he liked nothing but he understood that he has to be more sociable to achieve something significant in his life. In his sophomore year, he read history of India after independence. He was inspired by the movements led by common people like J.P. Narayan and V.P. Singh. He never idolized these leaders, what he idolized were these movements, these uprisings. Now he was setting his eyes on his goal and he reckoned that very society and the common folks he loathed, will help him to achieve it.
     
He started socializing more. First he made friends, then followers. He knew there would be many to oppose him but he also knew there will be some who will follow him. This was only to prove to himself what he can achieve.

The absurdness of his thoughts were growing more and more. After IIT he took a job in a famous steel company but soon left to pursue his big goal. He was a smart player, he was building strong credentials that will help him later to achieve his aim. He cleared Civil services next and worked as an IRS officer for a few years and build strong connections.

Now he was more focussed, the peak was far and journey difficult but it has to be difficult, else anyone could have achieved what he aimed for. Everything around him was becoming more and more mundane. Though he always longed but there was no adrenaline rush, no hunger in him. He started loathing everything even more. Even the sex was without foreplay or any other games, it was just to have kids and to remind his wife, from time to time, that he was her husband.

His thoughts were guiding him. When there was noise he wished for silence, in deep silence he wished for chaos. He hated everything that was going around and he promised himself to change it. It did not matter to him if the world was going towards progress or recess, he just wanted to change it. He knew he will require help of the same dumb people whom he loathed and they will support him. He knew it, it had occurred before and it will happen again. He knew they will help and they will follow him. People are cowards and if they feel you are stronger than them, they will follow you. He knew this principle.
   
He never believed in social service but began working for social causes and help the society. He was a smart guy, he knew that but what he did not know was that a bigger  portion of his was being controlled by his mind and he was nothing but a product of his thoughts now.
   
And then the time came he was waiting for. A famous anti-corruption crusader began a revolution against corruption in the heartland of India i.e. Lutyens Delhi, against the central government and he, due to his strong credentials, became the second in command of this revolution. The revolution was a success and he made a name for himself in no time. He never believed in the protest because he loathed the corrupt guys as much as the anti-corrupt ones. No one got a hint what he was up to, not even the anti corruption crusader. He himself knew what he was up to but he never knew what his disturbed mind is capable of doing.
     
Thoughts are what a man's reasons are based upon. We need to face them to be reasonable. But his thoughts were making everything vague for him, he could  not differentiate between calliphony and cacophony, between elegance and ugliness. He was always an egocentric guy but when he turned into an egomaniac, he never knew.      
   
This need to face his thoughts to be reasonable was becoming difficult day by day. His thoughts turned his life into a train travelling at a constant speed, never stopping at any station, never boarding any passenger, never letting any passenger leave, just going on and on. There is only one emergency exit to this kind of train - an everlasting lunacy and he took it.
 
At this stage he was doing all that was needed for the "BIG GOAL". He knew the public is frustrated, corruption is at its zenith. A normal guy hates everything - every political party, the current system, the police, administration, even the person next to him. Give them something packed in the wrapper of hope and then you can even lead them to chaos. He just wanted to use this hatred for his "BIG GOAL".
   
Strengthening his resolve further, he entered politics. All he needed now was to revolt - protest on streets, get beaten up by the police, bring in the media. He knew that it is the media alone who turns a common man into a celebrity overnight and he played them well. With the help of the same people whom he loathed, he turned himself a hero among the middle class. His followers increased from hundreds to thousands to millions.
 
He had no hero but he was infatuated by the uprising made by a single man at the time of independence. Sometimes he felt why was he not born 50 years earlier, but it did not matter now. His time will come and it will come fast, he knew.
 
His actions were not aimed at the betterment of the society or to remove evil. It was because he liked it, it got his blood pumping, gave an adrenaline rush he always craved for. He was not fooling the common people, the common people were always fools in his eyes. It was for the "BIGGER GOAL". It was not for power, or money, or even social welfare that he entered politics, it was something completely different from what a common man thinks, it was for the nirvana he wanted to achieve.
 
After a very long and difficult fight, he contested in the elections and won. No one knows what his "BIG GOAL" really is, that is something which will be revealed in years to come. So sit tight people, it is the starting of a very long bumpy roller coaster ride.

P.S. - This is a work of fiction and does not  relate to any person living or dead.